Squished

FullSizeRender (64)I started out this day with a favorite sweater, a light-light weight olive green cashmere sweater with these things that hang down and are supposed to be tied. I never do. Tie them. Except today. Today, I tied them.

And then I tested turning this painting into a card. It seems I like making cards way more than I thought I would. You fiddle with it this way, tinker with it that, change the curves and saturation in Photoshop, crop, adjust … you get it. I was only showing off how many ‘workshop words’ I know.

The one on top is printed on shiny photo paper. I had a plan. The plan needed me to haul out my super duper sharp Turbo charged paper cutter. It’s fantastical. I know, because about a month ago, when I was trimming monsters down to fit on blocks, I also trimmed my index finger down. It is nice and svelte now. It bled like a mother. For a little bit, we were even worried because the cut was deep, but that paper cutter blade is so sharp, it kept the wound nice and tidy.

Much like it did to my sweater tails, all tied up, high enough to rest on top the paper cutter where any normal person would barely notice them. Which is how they got sliced. And a little bit diced.

Poor sweater.

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11 thoughts on “Squished

  1. A few years ago I thought card making would be fun and easy…I have no talent . None. At. All. So I bought a shit load of “stuff”….ribbons, sticky backed things, paper of all sizes, envelopes, more sticky backed things that are glued onto little foam thingys, and letters…lots of letters in all kinds of script. Anywho…..I have no talent and the stuff sits, unused, sad looking. If I had a turbo paper cutter I would shred the whole pile of card crap. Do you have any cards with old, grey-haired ladies with saggy boobs and sayings like…..You’re old, I’m sorry. Buy a better bra. I’d buy them.

    • Oh Rosemary!! I laugh. And when it comes to card making, I laugh again – in the face of almost certain disaster (well, that’s MY technique) and then when it turns out not too disastrous and when people even seem to like them, then I exhale. Make you could unearth all that shit and just glue it on. Just glue without calculation, without strategy. Sometimes people like that stuff. It would definitely keep you occupied. :):)

  2. I was very well-acquainted with the giant paper cutter at my last job. After the spring broke, he was truly a dangerous acquaintance as his heavy cutting arm would slam down with nothing to stop it. But the sound he made slicing through the paper was oddly satisfying. Sorry about your sweater.

    • Eeek. An unsupervised guillotine ‘s just the thing to test whether you’re paying attention. And yes yes YES EXACTLY – it IS a kind of a good swoosh of triumph!!

      (PS. I have piles and piles of cashmere sweaters (if anyone ever needs one or two; you’re probably good in CR, right?) – most of them thrift store rescues – so it’s …oh. If I could figure out how to run my sewing machine – I shudder – I could probably add new tails – NO! – I could patch together a whole new Frankensweater from other sweaters.

      It’s too early for ideas. Thank you for your sympathy.)

  3. I also laughed at Angela’s birdhouse. But not so much your finger and your sweater.

    But then I saw Rosie’s comment, which reminded me of a picture i saw her post on Facebook earlier, and that made me very happy again. I think I’m going to just put all of you in my pocket. Sorry about the lint.

    • I guess that’s why we got body parts, instead of it all in one place – so we don’t just give up, thinking it’s too hazardous. (But thank you. Finger’s still intact. Sweater … (see above reply)…

      It was pretty fun to whip something out according to her specifications – ha. Well, KIND of to her specifications. A little bit. :) Why can’t you put us in your … bathroom? I know there’s no lint there. Not yet. I’d like to be in your bathroom.

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