Remembering for the Future

fireflies_B

Fireflies

Remember a moment when you felt safe – completely and deeply. Those were our instructions for an exercise.

I don’t remember the exercise and/or its purpose, but the memory I chose – that I return to, over and over. I deliberately take the time to remember it, just to feel simple, pure safety. It’s bliss.

Mine?

It’s a huge snowstorm – nearly a blizzard – and I’m standing in a small plaza beside an ancient church. The snow is pouring and old fashioned lamps are barely managing to light the street with feathery gold. I’ve come to meet someone, but the blizzard made me late and Niall is long gone. This is before everyone is equipped with a cel phone. I have no way to call him; he has no way to call me. And I’m profoundly grateful – almost giddy. I have this spot of cobbled-stone and snow and gold and silence all to myself. I feel safety as far as my mind can reach. I stay there a long time.

**       **       **

Remember feeling safe. 

Other memories don’t work. Not a happy memory, a beautiful memory, not a fun or glamorous one. Memories of winning, of achievement, of seeing exquisite beauty are nice enough and I’m glad I have them, but they don’t stir up anything particularly useful.

coffeeApparently, whoever cooked up the exercise knew a little something about something, because the feeling of safety is not only comforting (which is exactly what you’d expect), it’s empowering. Which you might expect, but I didn’t.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Remembering for the Future

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s