Almost Positive


she believes in being positive as long as there’s still time for what she really thinks

It’s too much, the pressure to be positive.  I almost have to laugh at the silence that descends, the collective shiver in the room, the worried glances when someone has the nerve to say something that’s not positive. Your standard observation will qualify, but the truth will definitely do it. I’ve never actually heard anyone say it, but they look like they want to at least whisper,  ‘That’s not done,’ as if etiquette’s been breached. Badly.

          Hardly any of us were there, so we rely on Leave it to Beaver re-runs and movies to tell us how it was, but still –  we’re so proud of having emerged from the claustrophobic 1950’s with all those false smiles and fake congeniality and constricting social rules (although they did seem to have pretty good cocktail hours). Yay rah and all that. But that’s exactly what this new rule feels like.

That experiment that gets hauled out regularly – the one that proves that if you smile, even when you’re not feeling like it, you WILL feel like it – has a whole lot to answer for. One, it’s not exactly what the results showed. The experiment shows stress relief and benefits to the heart. Anyway, it’s really the whole argument at the root of this epidemic of positivity. Don’t drop the charade. Keep at it until you’re positive, dammit.

Positivity is invaluable. I couldn’t be more glad that it’s made its way in from the metaphysical fringes. Still, it’s not a magic cure. It’s this thing we try to be and feel. This state of being we have to practice.  (Well, I do.)


she’s going to laugh

Yah, I like being positive.  It’s an excellent place to be and its incredibly powerful. We meet shit situations every single day and the practice of positivity helps us actually accept stuff that we didn’t think we could. Terrible things don’t stop being terrible, but we’re so much better able to breathe and not go down with the Titanic.  We float.

    It’s the forced rule that drives me crazy. It feels like my land of ‘what really goes on’ is being occupied by the dictator Say Only Positive Stuff or …. or … I don’t know what, but it won’t be Pretty. That one.

       Women have been saddled with made up shit long enough. Do we really need another rule that inhibits us?


2 thoughts on “Almost Positive

    • Teri, that’s very fun and sweet. Ich liebe Lieb!! (And I really liked all your answers to all those questions). I’m one of those people who doesn’t do awards (even though your nomination is super duper flattering. Thank you!) I’m pretty sure I only watch the Oscars for the dresses. Ha!

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